1st email - don’t interrupt us we are doing it
Yesterday I went to the Old City of Jerusalem. There I walked among people of every ethnicity and religion and language, Jews, Palestinians, walking these ancient narrow stone streets together. If you didn’t know there was a war going on you could imagine you were in paradise. A paradise where peoples of such difference lived and walked together in peace.
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I have been told we are almost the only group in Israel that is actually meeting together, people from Israel and people from the West Bank together in person. People from the West Bank can’t get out and Jewish people from Israel are frightened to go in. It took creativity- and also the profound trust, faith and desire our group feels to make this happen.
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It is not lost on me that we have to cross the border wall to do this work. As I write this, I feel I might cry. The courage of this group. Again, they are saying to me- this is the only place I find hope right now. Not because it is sweet and lovely. On the contrary, people are so afraid. Afraid to speak what is in their hearts. Afraid, and also so full of trust even when some of them feel hopeless.
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They know that together we are doing something that they are not finding anyplace else. They are bringing their strong voices, their different perspectives, their deepest feelings. And learning that all that leads to war outside can be brought into this sacred space and held.
We do not just feel, we learn, we study, we read. And then we bring our awareness to this process in ways that are expanding us all.
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Oh, if you could see them, the hope of these people. That together they are growing and developing in ways that will make a difference here, in their families, in their communities, in this world that is needing people who can hold this kind of space.
We have elders and we have the shining faces of the young. I look at them and I imagine, oh my darlings, long after I am dead, may you live a long life and may you bring your influence to this world and make it a more beautiful place. May you change this world. May you hope and dream and create something I can’t even imagine.
….. Together we stand in this fire without guns and bombs, and we will forge a new path.
2nd email - my heart says yes
We rode through the checkpoint the first morning, winding our way to the place where we work.The feeling of fear from the Israeli Jews to be in the West Bank was palpable but still, we were there.
We began in a circle, no sharing, just our names and seeing each other, feeling this moment that miraculously we had arrived, we had conjured up something that felt almost impossible – to be together, NOW. Right NOW.
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And then, the afternoon- all the feelings came. It was an explosion, it was beautiful and ugly and strong, and difficult and people said things they had never said before. Things they had NEVER SPOKEN, on both sides. It felt like war. And we didn’t try to contain it because there was so much that needed to come. When they shared at the end, they were present, many were relieved, they saw that these things they had been so afraid to say had not destroyed them and a deeper truthfulness had come to our group. War will do that.
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It is incredible what can happen when we build trust, as much trust as possible between people on two sides of such a divide. In the next day as more fear was arising around the trip to our place and being where we were, a Palestinian man said, let me tell you what can really happen here- if the Israeli police came here, we would be taken to jail (the Palestinians), and you would be taken to safety. If the Palestinian police came, we would be taken to interrogation (the Palestinians), and you would be taken to safety. And if the neighbors come, we know them and we will speak to them and we will protect you. And then a Jewish man said- if the Israeli soldiers come here, I will protect you.
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…the fear that led to this conversation created this moment, of reality, of love, of the willingness to risk and to protect. We are together even as we are apart.
Today we will again be opening the feelings and conflicts- and after two days, days of connection and learning and sharing, and difficulty and feeling that despite our differences there is love in this room, we will work to embody the principles together.
I know I don’t know
I am willing to be changed
I am honoring multiple perspectives
I am cultivating a non-shaming heart and attitude
I am welcoming everything in me with an intention towards awareness and consciousness
Will we end this war? No. But is this a worthy effort? Oh, most definitely my heart sings yes
3rd email - cracks
Let me be clear. Our perspectives are different. Really different. We are not a group of people who are holding the same beliefs and narratives and ideas about Israel and Palestine. This is what makes it so profound.
And as the days pass and people speak their beliefs, which can feel like an existential threat on both sides, we find the cracks. The openings we can slip through. Cracks where the political meets the personal and a story unfolds.
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A story of someone young, being hurt badly- a story of heartbreak, despair, aloneness and no protection, a decision being made. A heart being protected, a way we survived. And miraculously, because that is the way this world truly is at its essence, this story, found in the crack, breaks something open. And the fight, the fight that was about beliefs that are so different, suddenly becomes the story of a broken heart. And pain is unearthed, and pain is held, and pain is howled and wailed and witnessed. And in that mysterious way that the sacred has, the person on the other side is reached, and now we see the crack in. And someone who was before an enemy is now unlocking their own broken heart which fits like a key in this story.
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Oh, this world. To see enemies, people whose core beliefs are diametrically opposed and so threatening to each other, bowing their heads together in shared grief. To see the personal story at the foundation of the political. To see hands reached out, and tears that were never allowed to flow together, creating this union. What can we call this? Could it be that this really is the essence of humans?
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And when the tears have ended, and hearts are soft- we look at each other differently. Now in this moment, can we change our hearts and minds? Are we willing to see more than we saw before? Can we then hear each other, can we listen to each other’s fears and hopes? Can we decide to take action from this place? Action as simple and as difficult as setting down our narrative and listening, truly listening to the other side.
YES כן نعم
4th email - the hearts that sing
Sometimes it is hard to believe that more pain can be felt and that even more difficult truths can be spoken. These people are having the faith to come back, day after day. Most don’t believe this will be resolved in their lifetimes, but they are doing their part. For their children, for their people, for the world.
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Someone asked me- why are you doing this- and I said, I don’t have much faith in humanity, but I have a lot of faith in humans.
5th email - hope is a thing with feathers
We have a religious settler in the program. And the whole group of Palestinians walked with him back and forth [between the Palestinian village and the Israeli settlement].
Do they condone settlements? No! But …We need you- we need YOU partner, please stay and talk to us. And this man - I will do this though I feel so much fear because I too need you.
We can’t do this without each other. Can you see the courage on both sides, the stretching needed on both sides? Oh, my heart.
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What comes after all of this? The recognition of miracles, feelings of hope, I see you - I can understand you, even though we may not agree. We are willing to find the path.
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We took turns speaking in the circle, in the middle, speaking rage, rage at leaders who refuse another way. Rage at religion being used to separate us; Rage at the violence, humiliation, and loss everyone in that room has experienced.
We spoke hope and grief, pleading for an end to the cycle of violence, care for each other, awareness of the stories that are being told about the other, songs, and prayers and calls for the end of this war. Please can we find another way?
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I have witnessed what this work can do. This is not a special group of human beings. This is MOST OF US. This is us when we are held in a space where everything can come, and we stay. This is us when we are given the tools to understand that we are socialized human beings. Human beings who were taught to see the world in a very specific way and can learn to expand what we see when we spend time with others who have learned differently.
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One of the participants came up to me and starting yelling with such passion- THIS IS THE PEACE PROCESS- right here! THIS IS THE PEACE PROCESS!
I don’t want to hear that it is naïve, I have seen too many humans willing and able. And so many people are looking for this space. And we are training leaders who can hold this space.